When I first heard about the court order calling for the dismantling of Adam Guerrero’s front yard vegetable garden I thought, “At last, a bit of good news.”

Because if there’s one threat that Memphis doesn’t need, it is citizens that grow their own food, stabilize honey bee populations, and engage in other brutal acts of greenerism.

But when I dropped by Adam’s house to generously help destroy the offending greenery, I was dismayed to learn that most of the garden had been pardoned by Judge Larry Potter the day before.

Adam’s Garden:

Of course, I had heard about the 9000 misguided souls who signed the petition. And the scores of websites across the nation who picked up the story. And even the interference of Alicia Silverstone.

But I never imagined that any of that could thwart the defoliating power of justice.

Though saddened, I took the opportunity to interview Adam and get the dirt on the garden first hand. I was reassured to learn that he has received a whole new array of legal obstacles to overcome. (Hear audio at bottom of post)

Also, traveling just a couple blocks to either side of his house, I pointed out several of his non-gardening neighbors for him to emulate as he takes his first steps on a journey that I hope may lead him back to sanity and corporate dependence.

Adam’s neighbors:

I would like to publicly acknowledge the Washington Post, MTV.com, BoingBoing, Change.org, Treehugger.com, Alicia Silverstone, and scores of others. Thanks to you, another photosynthesizing menace is still on the loose. (For now)

Listen here for my interview with Adam Guerrero:

Welcome back to the Mind Over Memphis TherapyCast. In this fourth burst of audio-pathic therapy, my podcast is hijacked by the nefarious Marvin Stockwell of the Church Health Center in order to announce the Rock For Love music-festival fundraiser.

Listen in stunned disbelief as:

• Stockwell recounts the seemingly endless list of bands that will be infecting the festival. (4:35)
• The silent auction merchandise is announced – including the brand new Mind Over Memphis prescription shirt-like garment.(14:15)
• The hot-headed hooligans of Memphis Roller Derby are entrusted with guarding the loot. (a bad call if ever there was one)(6:15)
• Your Doctor is lured into hosting the Friday show through entrapment and false advertising. (2:30)

Remember my patients, even though I’ve been tricked into facilitating this event, you must fight your powerful instincts to rush out and see me. I am merely the irresistible bait in the Church Health Center’s trap.

Vital Stats:
What: Rock For Love 5
When: August 18-21
Where: The Hi-Tone, 1913 Poplar Ave.
How Much:  $5 Thurs, $10 Fri-Sun
Exact times, bonus free show, and other enticing details: here

Listen Here:

• Corner notorious hospitalitarian and art-trafficker Onie Johns inside her secret lair: Caritas Village. (1:00)
• Clear-cut the neurosis of Speak Up for Overton Park volunteer Josh Horton. (10:03)
• Introduce the Do-Gooder Calendar, the latest word in volunteer avoidance technology.(14:05)
• Gaze into the future of Memphis do-goodery.(14:15)

Immerse yourself in the tingling warmth of the Therapy-Cast, download it, send it to your friends, subscribe to it on itunes. Together we’ll take back this city from the conspiracy of hope.

More pictures in the patient gallery

Listen here:

Welcome to the Mind Over Memphis Therapy-Cast – prescription number two. In this second dose of therapeutic audio delight, I fearlessly:

• Battle the vegetarian needy-feeders Food Not Bombs in their own kitchen (2:38)
• Make a house-call on Aaron Shafer of Skatelife Memphis to diagnose the imminent groundbreaking of Tobey Skate Park (9:44)
• Warn the world about Church Health Center Wellness and their healthy cooking classes. (See my video of their nutrition obsession here)(20:24)
• Boycott the unholy hybrid of medicine and artistry known as the Art of Science art exhibition. (20:58)

Never has therapy been so accessible and life-changing. Send it to the do-gooders in your life and watch them get a new lease on lethargy.

Listen here:

Welcome to the latest tool in my arsenal against do-goodery, the Mind Over Memphis Therapy-Cast

In this first installment of brilliant audio therapy you will be amazed as I boldly:

• Address troubling rumors about canned food donations at the Memphis Zombie March (3:20)
• Expose the Voices of the South Children’s Theatre Festival as an insidious attempt to infect your children with art. (See last year’s video expose here.) (5:15)
• Uncover the horrifying secret behind the outbreak of farmer’s markets in Memphis (7:00)
• Get crushed by the true nature of trailblazing at the Lichterman Nature Center (spoiler- it’s not a forest fire) (7:35)
• Caution the public against whistling and/or working on the Shelby Farms Park trails.(8:09)

Download this new treatment and send it off to all your do-gooder friends.  Then sit back and watch as my psychiatric might cures them of their volunteering tendencies.

Listen here: